Hi my name is Fawn Ellis and I grew up in Williamson, N. Y. My parents were divorced when I was in 2nd grade. It was rough for me...I remember that same year I went to live with my grandparents. My grandma thought it would be nice to have a VBS on the side of the house. That year I realized I was a sinner, My hand went up and I asked Jesus in to my heart. It's not something magical....it's a start of a relationship. I spent many lonely years as a child, my grandparents surrounded their lives with work and my mother with a string of boyfriends when she finally found someone to move in with I couldn't live with him. So I moved back in with my grandparents. I tried so hard to have a good relationship with Jesus, I went  to church did my devotions...but I always got distracted. When I got into high school I tried to fit in with the Christian crowd which was far and few in public school. they were caught up in sports or had their perfect families. No one could even begin to understand what it was like to have a broken family.

  I began to associate with other people with similar backgrounds. Of course they really didn't believe in God. I tried to witness to them, said that's why I was with them. I got farther away from God, stopped my devotions. I started dating and I met someone, he even went to church with me once...but it wasn't his thing. Said everyone gave him dirty looks. I loved him so I stopped going to church. Then I got pregnant. Can a Christian sin? This is something I've struggled with so much in my walk. How could I have been so sure of my salvation, and come to this? It was like the ultimate sin. When I got the letter in the mail from the church saying I was no longer a member, my heart hardened and I walked so far away. My love broke up with me...I hated him. With nothing I went to party, dragging my baby along. I woke up one morning drunk and in a pile of puke with my baby sleeping right next to me. What kind of mother was I? I dragged myself home to my grandparents...I just never talked to them if we did it  was only arguing. They told me not to take my baby with me anymore. I told them I was done partying. I got caught up with a new bunch of friends. They were much better...college going. I fell in love with this one guy. He introduced me to another who I was intrigued with. He introduced me to Wicca. I was almost going to go back to church when he told me that would of been the stupidest thing to do. He told me I was a goddess...I began to study fervently every night.

  Meanwhile my grandparents took KJ to church. I had another dear friend who is like my adopted sister invite me to a youth retreat. Sure I said..it sounded like fun. It was like tug O war with my soul.....After the retreat I had a zillion questions and I laid it down My bible and all the books I had studied. Nothing compares when you hold it to the light of Gods word...it's like I had been blinded and instantly could see. That night I asked God what he would have me do? looking through my bible I had noted all the passages I had marked. I noticed my second Birthday marked down in proverbs. Au. 28, the day I had asked Jesus in my heart! I recommitted my life to the lord that night....I burned all my foolish books...and journals. God said that all he asks is that we love him with all our heart and soul and mind. He began to surround me with loving believers again.

  I'm not saying it's ok to sin after you become a Christian...you will be punished if you do wrong. But God never left me, I walked a way from him, always thinking the grass is greener on the other side. I am the prodigal son. God creates us for some purpose, we are not here by just mere chance, sometimes I wonder if I hadn't wandered away if I would already be where I'm suppose to. Then again God already knew I would mess up, but all things will work together. I have a lot of learning and growing to do. I still mess up, but my savoir has promised to never leave me or forsake. He is far more patient that I am. I do need to learn to let go sometimes...........

Favorites:
Scripture Verse –Deuteronomy 6:5

Why – i found this verse at a very low point in my
life. God showed me what it was he asks of me to do
for him.

Back to Cast Bios